Secret Catholic Rituals and Code Words
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This information is for Catholics. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew
Keep Laughin'
Donna Marie Laino
Why Be Wacky?
My father used to always make us laugh growing up. He would tell funny jokes, one liners, funny stories and always seemed to be entertaining. My mom would always play music especially during a thunder storm. When the music was over, the thunder disappeared. My house was magical.
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
