New York Driving Rules
Turn signals will give away your next move.
A real Long Island driver never uses them.
Use of them in Massapequa may be illegal.
Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you,
or the space will be filled in by somebody else
Putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going With the flow."
The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful Information.
They are only there to make Long Island look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the State Police radar car parked on the Median.
Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.
Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.
Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.
It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the
Beach.
Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new Vehicle sales.
Keep on laughing!
Donna Marie Laino
Why Be Wacky?
My father used to always make us laugh growing up. He would tell funny jokes, one liners, funny stories and always seemed to be entertaining. My mom would always play music especially during a thunder storm. When the music was over, the thunder disappeared. My house was magical.
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
