To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king- sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's rear end. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pet/s, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and Cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train (except Terriers and ShihTzu)
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!!
Have a joy-filled day,
Donna Marie Laino
Why Be Wacky?
My father used to always make us laugh growing up. He would tell funny jokes, one liners, funny stories and always seemed to be entertaining. My mom would always play music especially during a thunder storm. When the music was over, the thunder disappeared. My house was magical.
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
