Job Description for Cats
BATHROOMS: Always accompany humans to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to a rug. Oriental is best, but if not, shag is good.
HELPING: If one of your humans is engaged in any activity, and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping.
Following are the rules for helping:
When supervising cooking, sit immediately behind the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book--unless you can lie across the book itself.
When your human is working at the computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on screen, and then lie in human's lap across arms, thereby helping typing in progress no end.
WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human...especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around, and make sure you purr very loudly and 'make bread' on their chest.
LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you and do NOT come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out...the humans will shower you with love and kisses, and you probably will get a treat.
ONE LAST THOUGHT - Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.... And don't forget the guests!
Have a Purrrfect Day!
Donna Marie Laino, RN
Why Be Wacky?
My father used to always make us laugh growing up. He would tell funny jokes, one liners, funny stories and always seemed to be entertaining. My mom would always play music especially during a thunder storm. When the music was over, the thunder disappeared. My house was magical.
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
After I grew up, I became a Pediatric Nurse and used all kinds of funny things or toys in my practice to help ease children's fears and make their life fun even though they were in the hospital and sometimes very sick. I became real good at it. I would look for ways to become "outrageous" and bring life into people's worlds.
When I met Patch Adams I knew that I wasn't alone. Being "wacky" had a sacredness to it and I saw how it changed people's lives.
Once a fifth grader said to me, "Nurse Donna, you're not wacky today". I smiled when she began to explain how I had been just "ordinary" that day and not my wacky self. It was then I realized that being the "clown" or being "wacky" became an expectation and that when people saw me they wanted to have that "good feeling" all over.
When I was just plain Nurse Donna they didn't have that.
I went to Gesundheit! Institute and re-established who I was. I was transformed into "Gesoonie" the clown and I am featured in the documentary film "The Real Patch Adams". So far I have clowned on two continents (hoping to hit all of them!) and enjoy clowning and lecturing on humor.
Come join me and help transform the world........
Donna Marie Laino
P.S. I still laugh at my dad's same jokes when I hear someone tell them. Dad has passed on but I remember the jokes! We relive our time with dad each time we think of them! I miss you dad but I smile when I think of you. I am a chip off the old block. I feel honored to have been inspired by you. Thank you for being yourself. It has allowed me to be who I am and I am touching many people because of it.
I am spreading the JOY, one smile at a time!
